Feeling My Age

People on the Gold Coast, scratch that, men on the Gold Coast, love to yell out their car windows as they drive by you walking, jogging, biking or pretty much doing anything that catches their pervy attention. I like to think that I've become somewhat desensitized to this for the most part, but an incident today definitely threw me for a loop. As I walked down the sidewalk toward the beach after dropping off my bike down in Miami (sidenote: there is a Miami Beach here, and I vow to get a picture next to the 'Welcome to Miami' sign before I leave), I heard a high pitched voice shout

"YEAHHHHHHH, MAMA!"

out the window of a passing car. I whipped my head around and saw that the offender looked something like this:

And all I could think, as I walked on shaking my head, was yes, young man, I am sadly old enough to be your mama!

Are Sweatpants Killing This Blog?

For my long trip back to Australia from Orlando, my mother was kind enough to pick up some of the latest gossip rags for me to peruse. I'm touched that she not only recognizes but supports my penchant for this respected form of journalism. Just wait until she comes here for a visit and sees that I've hung a magazine rack on my living room wall that is chock full o' tabloid goodness.

While picking through the pages of InTouch Weekly somewhere between hours 9 and 12 over the Pacific Ocean, I stumbled upon an article that at first made me laugh, but really stuck with me and is now ticking me off. Sounds straightforward enough - 'How He Broke Her Heart' details the breakup of Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger, who (full disclosure) is not one of my favorite leading ladies (Bridget Jones' Diary aside). My personal feelings about her, however, do not excuse this magazine for creating an entire sidebar within the article to blame the fact that she wears sweatpants as a key to their breakup.

The 'Did Sweatpants Kill the Relationship' sidebar left me both amused and appalled. Amused because it is so far fetched and shows a lack of hard facts in the article (what did I expect from InTouch?); appalled because I take offense to the implication here that women have to be dressed to the nines and made up perfectly at all times in order to keep a man interested. Of course I believe there is a time and a place for that, but there is no way a woman can be comfortable with herself if she's that high maintenance 24/7. The article captions one picture with 'so sexy before' and shows Renee in a dress and Bradley with his hands all over her arse, then moves through a shame spiral of more casual shots until the last one depicts her in *gasp* running shorts and him walking two steps in front of her as if she's not there. How symbolic.

Take my opinion with a grain of salt, as I'm single and no expert on men at this point in my life. But I'll be damned if I'm going to buy into this notion that being casual or sporty or, I don't know, YOURSELF around your partner is going to drive him away. Isn't it supposed to be what's on the inside that counts? I mean, I'm sure Renee had to overlook more than a few nasty habits of old Bradley's throughout their relationship, but she still kept him around! And look where that's gotten her...

I'm hopeful that the author of this piece has a sense of humor and is trying to be tongue in cheek, as potentially evidenced by the closing line of 'One can only wonder if the right low-cut dress might have changed Bradley's mind,' but if not, shame on him! And even more shame if the author is a her!!

Time to face the facts, people. They actually broke up because he was cheating on her with Tom Cruise.

p.s. - I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about a feminist issue until this moment. And it's really so dumb AND was brought about because of a trashy magazine.

p.p.s. - I'm wearing Old Navy sweatpants as I write this :)

Holding My Breath

This just in: I'm becoming quite the expert at holding my breath here lately. I've honed this talent through the ultrasound, CT Scan and MRI that I've had in the past month, where they each require you to suck in and hold for about 25 seconds at a time. And repeat. For upwards of 45 minutes in some cases! Apparently, this helps to keep your internal organs from moving so they can be ready for their close up. I don't mean to brag, but even my liver surgeon remarked that my breath holding skills were top notch, as there wasn't a single blurry image in my report!

My talent at work! 'The Todd' (my tumor) is the white mass in my liver (on the left of this picture).

As a currently unemployed, and admittedly somewhat confused, person, I'm looking for ways to cash in on this newly discovered talent and someday make a living from it. In the meantime, I'm practicing my skill until July, when I will learn whether the lovely tumor that is occupying nearly 40% of my liver will shrink, remain the same or grow. As long as it's not the last of those options, I believe it will be smooth sailing from there...

I hope you will each do me a favor and hold YOUR breath that there is only good news from here on out. And you just might find out you have a hidden talent too!

What a Difference a Week Makes

Life is funny, isn't it? And I don't mean ha ha funny, but more of the strange and unpredictable variety. I actually intended to post about this train of thought a couple of weeks back when some small fun things were changing my blase mood, but it is really more relevant than ever right now...

One week ago, I was on my way back to the US from Australia for a last minute trip to be with family in Florida. I had been told prior to planning this trip that I had a tumor in my liver, the cause was unknown and that carcinoma (cancer) 'should be considered.' How's that for some news out of the blue?!? One week before that, I had no idea that anything was wrong and that I would be returning to home in the near future. It's truly amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time.

Well, here we are one week into my visit here at home. And again, what a different frame of mind we all have now than we did last week. I have seen a doctor who has all but assured me that my tumor is benign, my blood work has come back cancer free and clear of any other major issues and I just have to get past the hurdle of tomorrow's MRI before I can put my mind totally at ease. And in one more week, I am sure that I will be 100% worry free and nearly on my way back to Australia!

In the meantime, I have thoroughly enjoyed visiting with my family and especially Bailey. I was pretty worried that she was going to forget all about me in the time that I have been gone, so the silver lining of this emergency trip home has been that I get to keep that from happening. I am not looking forward to leaving her next week, but on the bright side, I'll be seeing her again in July!

I'm starting to get the hang of these self-portraits

I'm sure that the fact I'm Stateside right now comes as a bit of a shock to many of you, but since this wasn't a social visit and I didn't know exactly what to expect while here, I decided to keep a low profile. I would love to see every last one of you if only I had the time! But I'll do the best to keep you in the loop on the blog until I do get to see you again. And in the meantime, here are some random pictures from this Orlando visit...

Celebrating St. Patty's Day, the sale of my house and my great health news!

Bailey cheering the Gator basketball team on to victory

One of the most clever things I've seen in a long time

Respite From the Daily Grind

So obviously the title of this post is completely tongue in cheek, as my life is anything but a daily grind at this time. My days generally consist of going for walks, runs, and bike rides, and using any of those modes of transport to find ways to entertain myself. It's not a bad life and I have no complaints, but there are days when I wonder if sitting in my apartment is the best use of my time abroad. So...that was how I decided to go away to Byron Bay for three days a couple of weeks back. And I decided to do it in style! I chose to forego the backpacker's accommodations and opted for the Beach Hotel, which overlooks the water and, most importantly, has air conditioning! It is also conveniently situated next to a bar of the same name, and also has a bottle shop (liquor store) on the premises that delivers room service. Yowsa! And the best part of all, when I arrived, I got a complimentary upgrade to a bigger room with a better view. Great start!

View from my room at the Beach Hotel

On the first day I arrived, I decided to use my 'alone' time to explore and get my blood pumping. I set out on a walk to the lighthouse, which ended up being about two hours round trip from my hotel. You could see the storm rolling in as I walked, but it made the setting that much more beautiful.

Lighthouse in the distance

Thinking this will make a good second home...anyone want to go halfsies?

Self-portrait on my hike

The road goes on forever...

Storm rolling in

And finally sets in as I'm having a pre-dinner drink

This was my second trip to Byron, but the first time that I noticed the place is infested with lizards. And I'm not talking the little kind that kids like to catch back at home. These things are no joke! I got pretty close to one on my hike, and though I managed to stand close enough to take his picture, I was freaking out the whole time. Moments later I ran across a couple of other tourists taking a picture...of a snake. This nearly made me cry, ha. (Actually it's not funny, but rather a completely irrational fear. Therapy could be in my future).

Pre-historic!

Day two of my getaway brought rain, and at the most inconvenient of times. Like when I was out for a jog or when I was just getting settled in at the pool to enjoy the sunshine. Luckily, my friend Kate materialized mid-day, and she and I combed the town for must have purchases, then retired back to the hotel for happy hour on our balcony. About two bottles of wine later, our friend Sharon met us and we all headed to dinner at the Balcony (for the record, the Balcony and my balcony are two distinct and separate entities). Tapas and wine, some good gossip and a nightcap/music at the Beach Hotel bar and we called it a night! Our only regret was letting two gentlemen that were at both the Balcony and the Beachy slip away before we got a chance to approach them. I thought it would then be a good idea to follow them to see where they were going next, but when they turned off of the main street and it was obvious they were going home, it was finally time to give up the ghost. But it was fun to behave like we were 14 again momentarily!

Dark skies during happy hour

Sharon and Kate at the Beachy

Sharon and me

The final day in Byron was, as luck would have it, the most gorgeous of all. We woke up, recounted the night, grabbed breakfast and headed to the beach. From there, we drove around and checked out all of the lovely beaches and put our feet in the water. When it was time to head home, we were mildly disappointed, but vowed to come back soon! What a great escape to have in your own backyard!!

Filo: our budding fashionista

Getting our feet wet on a magnificent day

Love ya, Byron!

Good Vibrations

Last weekend we gathered a solid crew - Kevin, Katie, Kirsty, Julie, Sharon and yours truly - and headed to the Good Vibrations Festival on the Gold Coast, featuring headliners Faithless, Phoenix and Ludacris.

Some of my favorite memories of the day:

- Seeing Aloe Blacc and, more specifically, a guy at the Aloe Blacc show who was wearing a shirt that read 'Go to Bunnings, buy some timber, build a bridge and get over it.' Not only was it creative, but it appeared to be homemade and was a tank top. For some reason, men here love tank tops. Also, when Aloe Blacc asked the audience to shout out the name of the person they wish was there with them, Kevin shouted without hesitation - 'STEVE MANOLAS!'

Kevin and Katie

Glistening in the afternoon heat

Crowd loving Aloe Blacc

- Checking out Fat Freddy's Drop and their trombone player who stripped down to his undies and danced around the stage

Trombone guy ruled!

Just checking to make sure the camera's working

- Watching a bit of the Ting Tings while sipping a delicious frozen cocktail

Cheers!

- Nas and Damien Marley, with their flag waver who NEVER stopped waving the Rasta flag...hardest working man in show biz I think

- Catching the end of Miike Snow and the beginning of Faithless from a relaxed spot on the hill

- Phoenix giving us a high energy performance with an amazing light show. Then seeing the lead singer come down into the crowd and lean over the fans, while being anchored by a security guy with one hand firmly in the back of his pants so he didn't fall. Necessary, but awkward.

- Ludacris singing 'All I Do Is Win' while people danced like crazy under the tent

The lowlight of my day was losing my new watch in the first couple of hours we were there. I made the mistake of trying to be responsible and re-applying sunscreen between shows, and I forgot to put my watch back on when I was done. It was gone within minutes of leaving that spot, and I hope whoever is wearing it now feels like a bad person!

Even that bit of bad luck didn't put a damper on a really great day; can't wait to do it again!

All By Myself...

Until this past weekend, I thought Celine Dion was the most annoying French Canadian woman on earth. Well, turns out I was wrong. I sat in close proximity to a woman on my tour of Kangaroo Island who definitely gave her a run for her money, and that's without even belting out 'My Heart Will Go On.' This lady was just a small part of a cast of rather odd foreigners on my one day tour of the island, that while beautiful and informative, left me feeling like the world's biggest tourist. I was definitely a snap happy tourist, but only got up the courage to ask for someone else to take my photo once. At least I can prove I was there?!

For a bit of background, Kangaroo Island is the third largest island off the coast of Australia, and if you sail due West of KI, the first country you will land on is Argentina. Kangaroo Island is known for its beautiful scenery and wildlife, along with being the home to the only pure strain of Ligurian bees left in the world. So no trying to sneak any bees over with you if you ever go for a visit! Our tour consisted of visiting the following highlights - Seal Bay, the Remarkable Rocks and Admiral's Arch. We also got to see a bird of prey show, where I got to show off my Australian bird of prey prowess by correctly identifying the Wedge-tailed Eagle for the group. When did I become such a teacher's pet? Or maybe I'm an Australian bird groupie? Sadly, because I was one of the few English speakers on the tour, my smarty pants knowledge was lost on the masses..

Did you know that sea lions were closely related to dogs?

Laughing kookaburras

The mighty Wedgie

The Remarkables

Admiral's Arch

In order to outdo my own touristy self, I followed the Kangaroo Island tour up with a trip to the Adelaide Zoo the next day. I was rather impressed by the place, actually. Not only did they have two REAL Chinese pandas (Wang Wang and Funi), but they had a nice assortment of other animals in a clean and well laid out setting. As in other zoo-related posts on this blog, I felt like a bit of a creep cruising through the zoo with no children in tow, but I didn't have time to kidnap one before I went. Biggest disappointment of the day - not seeing the elusive bilby. Next time!

Pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be using my flash here. Sorry, Wang Wang.

This is a Tasmanian Devil. He was doing laps when I snapped this, which entertained me and the other 5 yr olds nearby.

Had to include this guy

Escaped from Meerkat Manor

King Julian! (for Jaime)

Don't think this Mandrill appreciated having his photo taken

Long necks

This is a wombat. I have no idea what they do...